Cutie Cumpire and the Sticky Keys

Within an hour, she’d replied.

u/CutieCumpire69xxx replied to your post in r/RedditorCum 🥵🥵🥵 Fuck, I wish I was that wall…

It was like licking a battery, the electric jolt at seeing that comment. It arrived just as he was getting ready for bed. He put down a navy towel and fucked a silicone sleeve over the edge of the bed, making another massive puddle for the camera.

He awoke to the comment, adkhgkdagl fuck, yes.

Jasper’s pulse fluttered. This was officially enough of a thing for him to reply without it being creepy, he decided. And while he wished that the words would come as easily as he did so that he could jack off for the morning and be about his day, he fretted over the exact wording for his entire morning routine and most of the train ride to work.

What he finally settled on was: 👀 I like your pics. I could look at them next time, if you’d like that.

He still wasn’t sure if the correct grammar and punctuation made him look polite or like some sociopathic CEO serial killer, but it was only going to be cringey if he tried to sound casual, and that was way worse.

Jasper saw the reply at lunchtime.

🥵 Yes, please!

Jasper got exactly zero work done the rest of the day. He sorted email, and then re-sorted it. He cleaned his desk, and then also the common kitchen. He printed out an article on machine learning algorithms and then sat by the window, flipping the page every two minutes, seeing none of the words.

Fortunately, while pulses of arousal harried him all day, the predominant emotion was anxiety, which saved him from having to hide an erection for four hours. He was simultaneously contemplating backing out and also considering how to over-achieve.

Her pictures were public. And he wanted her to know that he really was looking at her. So he was thinking through the logistics of where to pull up her pictures so that he could have them in-frame as he masturbated, without cumming all over his keyboard.

Or maybe he should cum all over his keyboard…

The last few hours of the day crawled by as Jasper worked out his plan.

After entirely too much fretting, Jasper finally set up. He taped his phone to the end of his broom to prop it up at the right angle, covered his old laptop in plastic wrap and set it on the table, and then fussed with his floor lamp for a full fifteen minutes so that there wasn’t too much glare.And then he took a step back and shook his head at just how much effort he was putting into impressing a faceless username on the internet.

But… it wasn’t really just that, was it? Her comment in the venting thread had stuck with him. She seemed to like his videos. She certainly put up with a lot of bullshit just existing in the world.So to have a little fun, to do something elaborate in her honor, hopefully making it clear that he didn’t expect anything in return… Maybe it would make her smile. And that would be pretty cool.

Jasper stood awkwardly in front of his table, naked and not at all erect, remembering that he was supposed to be recording himself jacking off.

He scrolled the wireless mouse next to him on the table and pulled open the first tab—a picture of her pulling up a short skirt and spreading her legs for the camera.

His cock throbbed to life, and he reached around to tap the record button on his phone.He’d arranged the tabs in order of clothedness to simulate a striptease. He was either a romantic genius or a total creep.And while his cock was certainly responding, when he flipped to the next image of her panties half pulled around her ass, he still couldn’t shake that feeling of being a peeping Tom. Except—she had said ‘yes, please!’. If that wasn’t enthusiastic consent, he didn’t know what was. And all the photos were public. So he wasn’t creeping… Or if he was, then she wanted him to, right?

A jolt of electric pleasure through his cock, like the ding of a game show bell, confirming that Jasper had found the truth. He was being a total fucking creep, and she liked it, she wanted it. She wanted him alone in his kitchen desperately masturbating at the sight of her, she probably liked the way the sight of her breasts chased all rational thought from his mind… And fuck he had made this slideshow way too long because apparently the idea of being a consensual voyeur was enough to make him burst.

Jasper slowed and tried to make it last, finally allowing himself to stare at her breasts, to picture his fingers between her legs, to imagine his teeth pulling off her panties.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum so hard,” Jasper breathed—not in that porno way that always sounded so fake, but breathy and desperate and surprised, because he literally could not stop himself from saying it.

“Y-you make my balls feel so fucking tight, a-and I came so hard last night, but I’m so full again… I was totally useless at work today…” The muscles around his base clenched tight, his prostate throbbing and sending pre-cum through his length and dripping onto the table. “Fuck, I’m dripping… I’m not gonna last much longer…”

As the pre-orgasmic pleasure swirled at his base, Jasper growled and forced himself to stop stroking. His cock throbbed needily, balls tensing and squeezing, as much pre-cum oozing from his tip as a regular person ejaculated.

“B-but you want as much as you can get, right? The l-least I can do is edge once…” He forced himself to take deeper, slower breaths until the sizzle of urgency faded enough that he could start stroking again.

Despite his best efforts, he hurtled quickly towards the peak again. “Cutie, you make me so fucking desperate…” He didn’t realize it until it was out of his mouth, but that’s how he’d been thinking of her these past few days. ‘Cutie’. He hoped it wasn’t too weird, hoped it didn’t bother her, because whatever part of his brain was steering his mouth now really wanted to say her name—or as close to it as he knew.

“Cutie… fuck! I’m gonna…” Jasper just barely remembered that there was one more thing to do before he came, and he pried his hand away from his cock and clicked over to the last tab.

This was the pinnacle of his romantic genius/total creepiness, the grand finale, the coup de grâce that would send him careening past the point of no return.

It was a close-up picture of her breasts, hanging like ripe fruit under her collarbone tattoo of the bat with spread wings, the browser zoom set to 200% so that the title of the post was massive and bold over the top of the screen: Show me how much you’d cum on these cutie tits

This was why Jasper had wrapped the laptop in plastic. As soon as the words hit his eyes, he burst, thick ropes of cum splattering across the screen. The sight of his cum across her breasts undid some kind of restraint within him, removed some sort of flow limiter, and somehow his fourth, fifth, sixth pulses were each stronger than the last. He moaned like he had never moaned before, and even as his flow finally slowed, it didn’t stop. He just kept throbbing and oozing and stroking until his puddle reached the edges of the plastic-wrapped keyboard.

Thick globs of his cum trailed obscenely down the image of her breasts.

“Holy fuck…” he breathed. It took him a minute longer than usual to return to his senses enough to step back and reach for his phone. “Hope that wasn’t, uh… too much…” And then he hit stop.

Jasper flipped over to the submission page before he lost his nerve. It had seemed like a good idea, but he was about to post her images in his video… but they were also public, right? And he could always delete it later.

His finger hovered over the send button. But she couldn’t delete it later. They were her pictures, but they were in his video. And jesus fucking algorithm christ, the thumbnail that the video hosting site had chosen for the video was his splatter of cum dripping under that distinctive bat tattoo.

While Jasper would pull down as soon as she asked, she couldn’t know that for sure. She’d agreed to him looking at her, not re-posting her likeness.

Jasper chewed on his lip and exited out of the submission screen. With the video URL still on his clipboard, he pulled open her profile and tapped ‘Chat’.

Hey, I’m really sorry if this is crossing a line to DM you, but I wanted to make sure it was OK with you first before I posted this video. If you’d rather I don’t post it, that’s no problem. And if you want me to delete it, I promise I will, no backups and no questions asked.

Jasper wanted to also add ‘And if you want to block me, I totally get that too’ but he didn’t want to come across as too pathetic, so he took a deep breath, pasted the URL and hit ‘send’.

And then he waited. And realized that he was being an idiot and had never actually made dinner, so he put his phone away and pulled out a skillet.

Continued in Cutie Cumpire Gets Sextual

Jasper and Nora were first introduced in the standalone short, Cutie Cumpire Goes to the Movies.

You can find all of the Cutie Cumpire stories at Cutie Cumpire Story Index

Enjoying these stories? The best way to show it is to share with your friends and buy me a bubble tea! ❤️

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Cutie Cumpire and the Subreddit

Jasper had always had trouble getting condoms to stay on, to the point that he doubled up on contraceptives or just avoid PIV entirely. He’d never quite understood why, until his girlfriend Jenny said, “You just cum way more than normal. It’s weird.”

He’d thanked her for the insight and broken up with her shortly thereafter. And then alone on the couch in his little studio apartment, he’d gone down the search engine rabbit hole of ‘How much cum is normal’. After the strangely arousing experience of reading the Ejaculation Wikipedia page and watching a man in a black shirt burst eighteen inches into the air with clinical calmness, it was only another search and a few more clicks before Jasper ended up on r/RedditorCum.

Jasper learned two things in quick succession.

One—he definitely had what Wikipedia had called hyperspermia. A lot of these guys did too if he was eyeballing it correctly, but… he was in a totally different league. No wonder he had issues with condoms. Though Jenny had been a bitch about it, she was right. His cum volume was very, very far from normal.

Two—watching a bunch of dudes shoot their loads all over tables, floors, walls, themselves… it was way hotter than he’d expected. And maybe it was the lack of blood flow to his brain, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t cum in the week since he’d broken up with Jenny, or maybe it was the sixteen ounces of eight percent craft beer he’d just finished, but… he wanted to post a submission of his own.

Jasper quickly spun up a new account with the username justsumdude because he was too much of a nerd to not reference his math degree in his cumshot handle, and then he went and stood in front of his dining room table with his throbbing dick in one hand and his phone ready to record in the other.

If only his future houseguests knew that he was going to absolutely cover this table in cum. And even though Jasper was normally very polite, even though he would carefully clean the table with both clorox wipes and bleach cleaner, the arousing thrill of embarrassment mixed with eagerness gave him the confidence that he needed to hit record.

Jasper had noticed that the other men on the subreddit didn’t make very much noise and he’d resolved to do the same—when in Rome, after all—but as soon as he pulled his hand down his shaft the first time, that resolve vanished and he moaned. Fuck, he was pent up.

Of course he was. It had been a whole fucking week! And then Jasper realized he was talking out loud and he maybe shouldn’t have drank all of that beer so fast, but fuck it, he could delete the post and the account if he thought better of it in the morning.

“Fuck, it’s been a whole week… I broke up with my girlfriend for a lot of reasons but it was mostly because of how she said it was weird that I cum so much… and honestly I haven’t jacked off all week because I was self-conscious… so y’all will just have to tell me what you think…”

And something about finally voicing that anxiety aloud released it, and also released Jasper’s torrential orgasm. “Oh, fuck!” The first rope landed two feet away from him, as did the second and the third. The fourth and the fifth were closer, and the rest… Jasper lost count of how many and how long, but the puddle of thick white cum under his hand grew and grew.

He didn’t stop stroking or recording because he was still dripping, but his senses returned to him. He was pretty sure that was the hardest he’d ever cum. His whole body tingled, and it would be a while longer before his erection faded.

“So uh… I’m sure I’ll delete this tomorrow, but if you see it before I do… have a good night. Sleep well and uh… all that.” Jasper stopped the recording and before he could think better of it, he uploaded and posted the video.

And though he wanted nothing more than to go collapse into bed, that was not an option quite yet. He had a much bigger mess to clean up than he’d expected.

Jasper awoke to two notifications from Reddit:

u/cutiecumpire69xxx replied to your post in r/RedditorCum 👀 💋 🥵

u/cutiecumpire69xxx followed you

Jasper had opened Reddit to delete the video, but he hadn’t actually expected anyone to comment, let alone follow him. That meant they hoped he’d post more, right?

Unless it was a bot. Jasper clicked through to the user profile, and the wall of images that greeted him bypassed his brain and jump-started his dick.

Pale skin, round breasts, pink nipples. So many shirtless pictures. Jasper scrolled. And ass and thighs and pussy. Conscious thought clawed to the front of his brain and assessed the situation. All the pictures seemed to be of the same woman—same ashy pale skin, same round breasts and plush curves, same collarbone tattoo of a bat. Her face was never in frame, though.

The pictures were posted across a variety of subreddits, all with a caption something along the lines of, show me just how much you’d cum on these cute tits. The photos were not at all professionally staged, and there were no links to an OnlyStans or anything. So the comment wasn’t from a bot or someone marketing their OnlyStans… she was probably a regular person, just like him. And she’d liked his video. And how he was staring at her naked tits.

Jasper felt suddenly like a peeping Tom—despite the fact that this woman had clearly posted these photos of her own volition—when something else in the feed caught his eye.

cutiecumpire69xxx commented on Just need to vent, my asshole coworker keeps calling me ‘mosquito’

Honestly, it’s all bullshit. Even when we’re drinking the leftover cow blood from THEIR obsession with red meat. And if you go the ‘vegan’ route, it’s asshole jocks and slut shaming all the way. Like, just because I literally need cum to survive doesn’t mean I need YOUR cum, you jackass.

Jasper blinked and then opened a new tab and searched for ‘vampire diet semen’. Sure enough, there was a WikiHow, a WebMD page, and a whole slew of listicles.

Jasper had taken a cryptid relations class as an elective in college, so he knew that even though cryptids were now legally recognized and protected and able to live in open society, things were not as sunny as the brochures liked to claim. He knew that vampires mostly fed off leftovers from the meat industry—kosher meateries especially—but he hadn’t known that cum worked just as well for them. And, given the fact that vampires were often slut-shamed for no reason other than being vampires, he certainly couldn’t blame them for keeping it quiet.

Jasper tabbed back over to the thread. He wanted to reply, wanted to say something like, ‘You’re right, it really is all bullshit. I’m sorry people are so shit.’ But then she’d know that he’d gone through her feed, and she’d know exactly what her feed was full of, and… Jasper’s cheeks heated and he closed both tabs.

He wouldn’t record himself again, but… he wouldn’t take the video down, either.

Two days later, Jasper was recording himself again. He was masturbating in the shower and just the memory of the video made his whole body tingle. Imagining what his cum would look like all over the dark tile drained the blood from his brain. The idea of getting his phone out made his balls throb. Pressing the record button set his heart racing. All he wanted was to cum that hard again.

He didn’t talk this time, he just panted and moaned and rode the wave of his arousal. With a hiss of his breath through clenched teeth, Jasper crashed onto the wall of the shower like a wave onto shore, moaning with every pulse of his throbbing cock. The thick white cum slid down the black tile in plump rivulets.

As he slowed, he angled the camera for a close-up of the last few pulses of cum oozing from his slit.

Jasper stopped the recording. With his head still floating and his inhibitions still melted by the flood of endorphins, he posted it.

He felt a little embarrassed as he put his phone away and cleaned his cum off the shower wall. But he could still always delete it later, right? But the really embarrassing thing was… he wasn’t really anxious about the video so much as whether cutiecumpire69xxx would reply.

Continued in Cutie Cumpire and the Sticky Keys

Jasper and Nora were first introduced in the standalone short, Cutie Cumpire Goes to the Movies.

You can find all of the Cutie Cumpire stories at Cutie Cumpire Story Index

Enjoying these stories? The best way to show it is to share with your friends and buy me a bubble tea! ❤️

Still hungry? You can read more Bite-Sized Stories here, or head over to The Cookie Jar to see everything, including full-length novels.

You can also follow me on PatreonTwitter, or subscribe to the blog here:


Cutie Cumpire Story Index

Here’s an index of all Cutie Cumpire stories:

Original Standalone Short

Origin Story

Cutie Cumpire and the Sticky Keys

Jasper offers to look at cutiecumpire69xxx’s topless pics for his next video and she loves the idea! Of course, Jasper is a classic over-achiever…

Cutie Cumpire Gets Sextual

Deleting my dating apps to meet people the old-fashioned way, flirting with cute nerds on r/RedditorCum whose hyperspermia might sate my vampiric appetite.

Cutie Cumpire Goes to Work

Inconveniently aroused at work, Jasper puts his endurance to the test…

A warm, gooey finish to Jasper and Nora’s origin story. 🙂

Other Shorts

Cutie Cumpire Measures Up

While his macaron shells are resting, Jasper finally gets around to measuring his cum production…

A fulfilling (pun intended) epilogue.


Cutie Cumpire Goes to the Movies

The lights dimmed throughout the movie theater as the bass rumbled with the first explosion of an action movie trailer. The leather seats creaked and popcorn bins rustled as the handful of patrons settled in for the Tuesday night showing.

Jasper and Nora had an entire row to themselves. A sports car drifted around a corner on-screen, casting a red light across the theatre as Nora leaned over to whisper in Jasper’s ear.

“I’m hungry…”

Jasper stiffened, and he glanced around the row just to make sure it was still empty. “But you just ate!”

“Yeah, but action movies always make me hungry!”


Nora licked her lips and the shell of Jasper’s ear. “All the blood.”

Jasper gulped. He would have loved to be a sweet and doting boyfriend and gone to buy Nora as many overpriced candy bars as she wanted, but that was not an option.

Nora had very extreme dietary restrictions, so she did not eat overpriced candy bars or even regular candy bars, nor did she eat popcorn or any kind of grain, nor meat, nor tofu.

Nora was a vampire. And while the sight or smell of blood always got her ravenous—a detail that Jasper should have remembered when he recommended they go see the new Umpires of the Universe movie—Nora primarily subsisted on semen.

Specifically, Jasper’s semen.

It was an option for all vampires, but few took to it as gleefully as Nora. And Jasper couldn’t really complain, all things considered. Nora was funny and weird and pretty and someone he would have dated regardless.

So much so, in fact, that Jasper still couldn’t quite believe that she wanted to be with him. He’d made the offer many times that she didn’t have to date him to suck him dry. But she’d always just laughed it off. He could almost believe—almost—that she still would have dated him regardless of his own condition.

Jasper had a particularly extreme case of hyperspermia. And although Nora had indeed sucked him dry in the parking lot, although she had massaged his perineum in that way that always made him cum extra hard, although he would have said he was totally spent…

When Nora saw blood, she got hungry.

And when Nora got hungry, Jasper got horny.

And for a reason that Jasper still did not quite understand, the more and harder he came, the more and faster his body replenished. His refractory period was all of two minutes by this point, a fact that Nora happily abused on weekends.

So, just the tip of Nora’s tongue on his ear, just the hint that she was hungry, was enough to send Jasper’s cock throbbing to attention.

And Nora knew it, saw him hardening under his pants, and her soft laugh trailed down his spine.

“We can go to the bathroom,” Jasper whispered.

“No, I don’t want you to miss any of your movie. You’re so excited to see it! Just relax, you’ll hardly notice me.”

Jasper wanted to protest that he was going to be missing the movie either way, that there was not much else he could think about with her mouth around his cock, that this was the only movie theater in town that put real butter on their popcorn and he didn’t want to be banned forever, but she had already ducked down to kneel between his legs, and he was only going to be more conspicuous if he tried to lean down to protest.

And then her hands were on the front of his pants, massaging his throbbing cock through the fabric, and it was all he could do to not moan aloud.

It was not their first time having public sex, but it always made Jasper just as nervous. And the anxiety delayed his climax, which was great for Nora—he came extra hard and extra long—but nerve-wracking for Jasper.

Even if… deep down, maybe he liked how risky it felt.

He certainly loved how her mouth felt around him, and his whole body tensed as she unzipped his pants and enveloped him. This time there was no teasing, no foreplay—just straight to the back of her throat immediately. Nora really was hungry.

It was his own damn fault for bringing her to a bloody action movie. And he really had been excited—no wonder she hadn’t said anything. She’d probably resolved to tough it out, and then actually seeing the blood had been too much.

He could imagine the way her mouth had watered, how her resolve had slowly melted, how her hunger for that blood had so quickly become a hunger for his cock…

Jasper shuddered and exhaled sharply as Nora pulled him down all the way to the hilt. Her long tongue stroked between his balls, which already throbbed heavily.

The last trailer finished, and the theater went dark and silent. Nora chose that moment to bob her head over Jasper’s cock, and he held his breath lest he announce their activities to the entire theater.

Then the Umpires of the Universe theme song blared and Jasper let his ragged breath saw in and out of his chest. God, what if someone thought he was having an anxiety attack and came over to try and help him? Then he’d really panic.

But with Nora’s mouth around his cock, Jasper couldn’t maintain a train of thought longer than about two cars, and his concerns melted in the heat of her tongue behind his balls again.

Another thing about vampires.

They didn’t really need to breathe.

Jasper’s hips bucked reflexively, and the plastic leather creaked under him. Shit! He needed to hold it together.

Nora knew how to read the cue and picked up the pace. A hot, dizzy arousal overwhelmed Jasper, and the movie became nothing more than a series of flashing, blurred lights as his awareness narrowed in on the heat of her tongue working around him.

Nora sucked and stroked and bobbed in all the ways she knew Jasper liked, and his arousal built quickly. His balls ached and his prostate throbbed, every nerve awake and shouting ‘FUCK YES’ as if it had been three months since his last release, not thirty minutes.

His muscles tensed with pre-orgasmic pleasure, and the heat of his pre-cum oozed down his length. As soon as Nora tasted it, she swallowed around him. The squeeze was so rhythmic and tight that Jasper was convinced that vampires were more perfectly adapted for cum sucking than most of them wanted to admit.

And fuck, was Nora effective.

Jasper panted as quietly as he could. He couldn’t hold his breath anymore, couldn’t hold back, prayed that the loud music wouldn’t fade at an inopportune time. That familiar heat coalesced in his base, curled in and condensed like a dying star, and then went absolutely super-nova.

The thing about hyperspermia was that he while his individual bursts were certainly above average, the real volume came from the fact that he just kept cumming.

He had plenty of time to appreciate how each surge felt inside of his cock, running from base to tip—how each convulsion squeezed not only his balls but also his prostate and the surrounding glands—how Nora swallowed around him, so greedy for everything he had to give—the suction and squeeze on his cock, practically sucking the cum out of him—how he would feel to her, his hot seed pouring down the back of her throat—that they were here in a movie theater, so close to being caught, the thrill of it making his heart pound even faster. Every time Nora sucked him off like this, it was a 4D high-def surround-sound clIMAX.

And he especially loved the long trail at the end, when both he and Nora awed, every time, that somehow he was still cumming. He wanted to measure it sometime to see just what kind of volume he was up to, but Nora was never not hungry for him and he couldn’t deny her. Needless to say, it was a lot.

He’d had a few close calls where the arousal had nearly overcome him before Nora could get to him, but she’d always arrived just in the nick of time. Being able to get somewhere as the crow flies—or more accurately, as the bat flies—was great for beating traffic. It was also ideal for dropping through the window in the bathroom at Jasper’s work. Nora didn’t make a big deal of it and she gave him his space when he needed it, but she was never very far away. Jasper didn’t mind—he liked all the time they spent together. And the six to twelve orgasms a day weren’t bad either.

Nora gave him one last affectionate slurp and then tucked him back into his pants.

Jasper returned to his senses as Nora returned to her seat.

His balls were light, his arousal sated—though by the end of the movie, he’d be aching again.

And it was a good thing too, because as the next fight scene sent arcs of blood across the screen, Jasper knew that Nora would be ravenous.

Enjoying these stories? The best way to show it is to share with your friends and buy me a bubble tea! ❤️

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Review: Morning Glory Milking Farm

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nascosta is an exceptionally well-written erotic romance novel about a minotaur milking farm and also my favorite. 🤩

At approx 50k words (160 Kindle pages, 198 paperback pages) it’s a little shorter than a typical fiction novel (approx 70k words).

Pricing & Availability

MGMF is free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers, $4 to buy on Kindle (Kindle link) and $15 for paperback (paperback link).

You can also support C.M. on Patreon (exclusive content!) and Ko-Fi. They’re on Twitter @cmnascosta and you can find their other social media via their website.


I cannot overstate how much I love this book. 🥰 I’m a sensitive reader (and person in general) and this checks all of my boxes. It’s on a very similar wavelength to my own erotic romances!

Some no-spoiler clarifications:

  • The premise is milking minotaur men for cum (not a lactation story)
  • The tone is wholesome, relatable, charming, romantic, sexy
  • There is indeed a plot! And it’s romance~
  • There are some truly beautiful turns of phrase to describe the characters’ emotions, I really enjoyed both the overall story and the word-by-word prose

Some low-spoiler clarifications (highlight text to read):

  • Though the story includes the idea of excessive mintotaur cum getting everywhere, it does not directly depict this happening. So if you’re iffy on excessive cum, it’s easy to gloss over, and if you’re into it, it’s easy to imagine.
  • Minotaur dicks are human-shaped (no horse cocks here)

What makes this book so sexy

Two independent elements in this book are spot on: emotional engagement and sexual depiction.

Emotional engagement

Emotional engagement is all about stakes, and C.M. gives us such excellent, juicy stakes here! The story provides that addictive swing back and forth between “omg, yes!” and “oh, no!”

The pacing did a great job of giving me enough information that I always understood the stakes, but never so much at once that I was tempted to start skimming.

The emotional descriptions in this book are standalone excellent, erotic content aside.

Sexual depiction

As I see it, reading is basically hypnosis, and so the best erotic scenes bring you into a meditative/flow state, providing specific sensory details and a pacing/rhythm that match the scene. The more thoughtfully the author depicts the details, the deeper they pull you into the trance, and the sexier the scene. Contrast this to writing styles that summarize or gloss over the sexy details.

However, detail along doesn’t quite do the trick. For a sensitive reader like myself, there are a lot of things that can break that trance–stilted dialogue, overly silly descriptions, confusing descriptions, etc. C.M. handles the details brilliantly and keeps that trance intact.

This is what I’m thinking of when I say “high-quality erotica”. The attention to detail, the creative prose, and the effectiveness of creating and holding that flow/trance state for the reader.

A few of my favorite things

Mild spoilers in this section–if you don’t want any spoilers, go start reading!

I love fantasy that considers the little things–like that enzyme wash pods would be necessary to break down minotaur semen enough for it to not clog the plumbing.

I’m not one for lore dumps, but when thoughtful little details like that are sprinkled throughout and woven into the story, it makes the setting feel real to me. Cambric Creek breathes off the page, bustling with all the strange-yet-familiar creatures of this multi-species community. Vampire restaurants! Mothperson babies! Chlorophyll lattes!

And there are just so many delightful turns of phrase in this book. Here are some of my favorites:

“The pressure of being a perfectionist, the unarticulated terror of not being an automatic expert… it would pass, she knew, but that never calmed her jangling nerves or settled her stomach at the time.” —Kindle Page 17

“The rational part of her brain kicked at her spinal cord in an effort to wrestle back sense, but she ignored the shudder, settling into the rhythm she knew he liked.” —Kindle Page 52

“His voice was a rumble of thunder caught in the mountains, the deep and sonorous warning of a coming storm[…]” —Kindle Page 71

“[…]but if the night didn’t end with her screaming his name as she came around his cock, Violet was certain she was going to perish from terminally unmet sexpectations.” —Kindle Page 104

And last but not least, spoken like someone who’s written smut in a coffee shop…

“Violet was certain she was about to swoon, the lights overhead suddenly too bright and the voices of the other patrons too loud, her thoughts to obscene for the polite company of the little coffee shop.” –Kindle Page 71

Go read it right now

Seriously! Just do it!

Still hungry? You can find more reviews of steamy and erotic media here, or if you’re interested in reading some of my original erotic romance, head over to The Cookie Jar!

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Review: Other Side

Other Side is a 225 page complete comic by LapinousMalice about a straight-laced cat who misses his train and then catches the eye of pierced, tattooed, mohawked hottie. Thus unfolds a sex, drugs, & rock-and-roll trip into hedonism and self-discovery.

Not for the faint of heart, but not a tragedy either.

Cover art source link

Price and availability

It’s free to read on its own website, and the panels (along with other art of the characters) are also available on LapinousMalice’s Fur Affinity Gallery.

You can send the artist some love on Liberapay or Ko-fi! Discord links and commissions info are available on their FurAffinity profile. You can find them on Twitter @LupinousMalice.


The creator’s content warning says it well:

“Otherside is an adult comic about the adventures of a cat who has always fantasized about getting into self destructive situations, but has never dared step out of line his entire life. After missing his train, a maned wolf known as Anarchy gives him that invite into that world of reckless hedonism to escape his boring life for a weekend house party, ripping our protagonist way out of his comfort zone.
It will be exploring a number of selfdestructive fantasies, from taking drugs, getting tattoos on a whim, orgies with total strangers and also interacting with others who would do nigh on anything to escape their own shitty lives for even a little while.

There will be some dub-con, non-con, themes of suicide and depression, self-identity issues, as well as obviously: Self destructive behaviours.

Also most the scenes will be m/m but this boy is mad pan so he sleeps with all genders :3

The comic is generally my own personal project, and wont be for everyone. But for all those who have always wanted to live through someone who decided, despite all the warning signs and actual danger, to go along for the ride? This is for you too.

I also do not recommend *anyone* do anything like what our cute potatocat gets up to. It’s a dangerous world out there and I dont want real people getting hurt, mmk?”

From “About Other Side” Journal Entry

Steam level & shadow desires

The highlights of this comic for me are the art style (dynamic, expressive, great complement to the story) and the emotional exploration. The dark greys and flares of bright neon set the tone perfectly. ❤️

I think most readers will find the story to be thought-provoking and beautifully depicted. Where it sits on the “sexy scale” is going to vary based on how much the reader relates to the main character’s kinks. I’ll guess that submissive and/or masochistic types will find the scenarios more directly sexy than dominant and/or sadistic types. (I’m the latter and the steam level for me personally was medium.) And while there are explicit “on screen” sex acts, there’s a lot more focus on the scenarios and the emotions than on the mechanics.

The characters themselves are interesting and delightful and well-differentiated. If you like morally grey hotties, you’ll love them~

Other Side is an apt depiction of how repressed shadow desires can eat away at your happiness even when everything in your life seems to be “going well”. A story like this is a great way to explore those shadow desires through fantasy.

On a related note, if you want to learn more about shadow desires in a more practical way, go read Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink!

Gallery goodies

Here are some select goodies from LapinousMalice’s gallery~

Main Character, Pumpkin!


What a cutie~


I stan Chesh

Go read Other Side!

Still hungry? You can find more reviews of steamy and erotic media here, or if you’re interested in reading some of my original erotic romance, head over to The Cookie Jar!

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The Alchemist's Illusions

The End

You’ve reached the end of The Alchemist’s Illusions.

Thank you for reading!

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Part 6: Denoument, The Alchemist's Illusions

Chapter 54: Epilogue

Linza continued studying under the madame. At her day job, she was expected to put in her time just like everybody else until she worked her way up to a halfway decent salary. But at the estate, her talents were acknowledged. Leveraged. Useful. Appreciated.

The madame offered her a job working full time on administration, which did not preclude her from her night job either.

She’d discussed it only briefly with Tanyth, but they’d so immediately tried to beg and convince her to take the offer that she’d had to dismiss their advice as overly biased.

She’d talked it over at length with Grun. She told Grun what she liked and didn’t like about her day job. He helped her uncover everything that was irrational about her resistance to this potential change.

Would she be wasting her degree? Not if she’d be making more money (which, she would be, especially with how successful the sex toy enterprise was becoming).

Would this job be less stable, would it vanish out from under her? Not likely, but if it did, she’d manage.

Would she ever be employable as an alchemist again if her primary work history was estate administration?

Grun’s answer to that had been her favorite of all.

“If you want to be an alchemist that badly, you’ll just found your own lab.”

“How in the world would I do that?” Linza said.

“How in the world could you not? Linza if there is one thing that I know about you, it is that when you figure out what you do want, not a thing on this earth can stop you.”

So, she accepted the job.

She quit the lab.

She cried in the doorway of her little apartment, now empty after Grun had helped her move everything to her new quarters at the estate. She wasn’t quite sure why she was crying, but she let herself do it anyway. Grun put an arm around her shoulder and didn’t rush her.

She eventually found words. “I’m glad for what’s next but… I’ll miss it.”

“Isn’t that how it always is, a new chapter?” Grun had said.

Linza remembered how many chapters Grun himself had started, and she found his hand with hers. “I’d like to visit your father, sometime. See the library, and everything.”

He smiled. “I’d like that too.”

And then he had picked her up and carried her down to the empty floor and fucked her there. They wrapped each other tight, their moans echoing around them like ghosts of all their pleasures past, bidding them fortune and farewell.

 One last fond memory as the final page turned and the new chapter began.

Part 6: Denoument, The Alchemist's Illusions

Chapter 53: A New Venture

Linza had invited Grun and Tanyth over for dinner at her little apartment. She’d hardly been able to contain her excitement throughout the meal. 

“I have presents for you two!” Linza dashed over to her desk and returned with four parcels, paper boxes tied with red string, just like at the estate bakery. Because they were boxes from the bakery. She’d thought it would be cute and on-theme (these were treats, after all) but also it meant that she didn’t have to spend any extra money. She was still trying to save all that she could towards her student loans.

There was a large one and a small one for each of them, and they both opened the large one first. 

Their eyes widened with delight. Each package held a piece of carved stone. There was a thick bulb, a thin stem, and then an arced base.

“Is this what I think it is?” Grun asked.

“What do you think it is?” Linza said.

“I think it goes in my ass?” Grun said.

Linza laughed. “Yes, it goes in your ass.”

“Hell yeah, this looks amazing!” Grun turned over the plug in his hand.

Tanyth’s eyes were just as wide. “Linza, you shouldn’t have!”

“It’s really not a bother,” Linza said.

“But— your loans!”

Linza blinked. “What about them?”

“These are expensive!” Tanyth looked genuinely worried.

“They didn’t cost me anything, actually. It’s all cast-offs so it’s free.”

Now Tanyth looked confused. “Wait… you… you made these?”

Linza blushed. “Y-yeah. It was really no trouble.”

Mercifully, Tanyth opened the second and smaller gift before grilling her further, revealing a little stone blue bird while Grun unwrapped a jade boar.

The bird for Tanyth, since they were all about experience, variety, sensation. Like a bird, if they were not migrating, not flying from place to place, they would not be themselves. 

The boar for Grun, who was headstrong, steadfast and reliable. He had helped her face her fears and make peace with them. And, of course, the cute little tusks.

She’d meant to say out loud why she’d picked each animal for them, but her voice escaped her as she saw the genuine wonder in their eyes. 

“Linza, how did you make these?” Tanyth said.

“It’s just a bit of minor alchemy. I get these scraps from the stone cutters downtown—they usually make things for fancy buildings, rich people, y’know. And then I transmute them into wood, carve them, and then they revert to stone.”

Tanyth’s eyes were wide. “You’re a genius!”

Linza blushed. “Well, I hardly invented the idea. It actually started as a homework assignment, but it was carving wood to make precise iron gears for complex machine works. Once I started my art classes, I had the idea of doing something cute with it.”

Tanyth shook their head. “You’re still a genius. You’d have to be able to do alchemy and art to come up with something like this, and you are literally the only person I know who can do that.”

Linza opened her mouth to say, ‘but you don’t know very many people outside of sex workers’, but Grun raised his eyebrows at her with a look of mother-hen scolding and she paused. “I’m really glad you like them.”

“Seriously though, Linz,” Tanyth gently set the bird back in its box and picked up their plug. “These things are expensive because usually you have to get a stoneworker or a glassworker to commission them.”

“I’m sure somebody’s thought of this before,” Linza said.

“Then why are they so expensive?!” Tanyth said. “Let me tell you, the circle of people who are university-trained alchemists and the circle of people who make sex toys rarely overlap.”

Linza considered that. Tanyth seemed to be right. There were plenty of other magical users on staff, many of whom were formally trained, but they tended to be clerics, enchanters, and illusionists. Linza was here because of her illusion skills, but that hadn’t been her primary field of study. It did seem like a rare combination when Tanyth pointed it out. 

An idea bubbled up from the back of Linza’s mind. “Well… these aren’t that difficult to make. You can do them even faster with a proper lathe. And I bet you could even… I’ve seen some clever things with making negatives and molds. Turn stone to iron, pour that around another stone carving, then you have a stone negative. Then you can take that negative, turn more stone to iron, melt that down, pour it into the mold, and so on.”

“How many do you think you could make like that?” Tanyth said.

Linza grabbed a quill and notebook from her desk and started jotting down numbers. She made a few broad guesses, but they’d be more than adequate for the exercise. Tanyth contributed the knowledge of how much dildos and plugs usually cost, plus a guess of what they could still charge for them if they added significant volume to the market.

Linza triple checked her math, sure that she’d made some mistake.

Because if her math was right, she’d be able to pay off her remaining loans in less than a year. 

The madame was thrilled to hear of Linza’s idea and mobilized a whole network of connections and favors to start the wheels of a new enterprise in motion.

As Linza had hoped, the lathe easily produced any symmetrical shape. Bulbs and rippled shafts, plugs and dildos alike. The madame sourced a carpentry shop that was happy to help lathe as much transmuted wood as Linza could produce.

But they didn’t stop there. Linza’s whittling origins inspired her towards some more fanciful designs. She hand-carved knotted cocks and curling tentacles. Other artists at the estate joined in, contributing veiny shafts and flower buds.

That the material could be transmuted back to wood at any time opened up new possibilities for trial and error, fine-tuning without risk. Lots of testing was required. The result was a diverse range of imaginative and effective toys.

The madame stocked shops at the estate with the new toys, incorporated them into experiences, hosted a few giveaways, and soon there was more demand than they could keep up with. They could have charged more, even as much as had been the status quo before they opened the shop, but Linza and the madame agreed that it was important to both of them that the toys remain accessible to someone of middling budget. So, the wait list grew.

Other alchemists eventually caught wind and cashed in on the trend. But, it never cut much into the estate’s sales. Firstly, Linza had ensured that the estate had gotten to market first. But more than that, the competing products were just bland. They lacked imagination.

And Linza had imagination to spare.