Shorts

Christmas Moonshine (Part II)

Continued from Part I


Ruth perched the knit version of Obbie on her dresser, and while it certainly helped imbue some Christmas cheer into the air, her apartment still felt a bit lonely and chilly.

Ruth still wasn’t quite sure what to do alone on a holiday. She sat on the edge of her bed, rolling the little glass bottle between her hands. It was unlabeled, and wiggling the stopper out released the scent of peppermint. Peppermint schnapps, then?

“Christmas cheer in a bottle, right Obbie?” With nothing better to do, Ruth tipped back the little bottle and downed the whole thing. The liquor bit at her tongue, but she liked it. She liked her little apartment and she liked her little life, dammit. And she liked Christmas. Even when her mother called her tacky.

Ruth went to the kitchen and dug out a candle, then brought it back and lit it on her dresser, a safe distance away from the knit cat. It wasn’t exactly a roaring fire, but it was better than nothing.

Within a few minutes, the warmth of the liquor dispelled the cold. So thoroughly, in fact, that she might as well have been next to a bonfire after all. Ruth dove under her covers and wiggled out of her pajamas. 

She was feeling very warm. Hot actually. Especially in some specific areas. So, hot and bothered. Was she really getting off so much on finally being able to say ‘fuck you’ at her ex?

Or maybe the peppermint schnapps was stronger than she’d realized. Her pussy was throbbing something fierce. Was this the era of her life where she went and bought a bunch of sex toys? That seemed good. Who needs dick, anyway?

As the thought of growing her sex toy collection instead of her and her ex’s joint bank account sent hot arousal through her, Ruth officially hit the point of overheating and threw her covers off.

And then saw the strangest thing. Sprouting from between her legs was a life-size peppermint swirl candy cane dildo.

“What the…”

Ready to prove it an illusion or examine it closer, Ruth grabbed the end of the strange apparition and tugged, only to moan as pleasure zinged through her entire body. Touching the candy cane dick felt like how she could only imagine actually having a dick felt.

Ruth blinked rapidly, scanning her room for any sign that she might be dreaming. But as far as she was aware, she hadn’t fallen asleep. That was how dreams usually worked though, right? Except she could still remember her day, the shop and the…

Wait, did the old woman brew her moonshine with LSD or something?

Ruth turned and stared at the knit Obbie, half expecting it to blink at her. “Do you know anything about this? What’s going on?”

Knit Obbie was as silent—if cheerfully—as ever.

Needy throbbing turned Ruth’s attention back to the candy cane cock.

Tentatively, she reached for it again. Pleasure zinged up its length, sending her heart racing and her chest heaving.

“Ooooh boy. This is, uh… this is a good trip, right?”

Knit Obbie offered no response, but it was hard to feel apprehensive in his cheerful presence. If she was dreaming it was a non-issue, and even if she wasn’t… it wasn’t like she could un-chug the moonshine. Or, well, she could maybe call 911 and tell them that she’d eaten something, but…

Her hand drifted down to the base of the candy cane cock. It felt so fucking good. Not as intense as when she played with her clit, but she could feel every little touch along the length…

Ruth gave herself a couple experimental strokes and she shuddered. This was fine. She was fine. This was either a very good dream or a very good trip, and she didn’t care much either way.

Ruth quickly found a rhythm with the candy cane cock that had her moaning and bucking her hips. Then she felt something inside the cock, a pulsing heat and tingling cold down the entire length, the sense of squeezing and dripping… and then something thick and white oozed out of the tip of the candy cane cock.

Ruth paused, curiosity briefly overwhelming arousal. She swiped a finger over her tip, shuddering at the sensation, then put it on her tongue.

It was icing. Peppermint icing.

She turned to glare at knit Obbie. “You’ve got to be shitting me. What the fuck is this?”

The candy cane cock throbbed, and Ruth’s hips bucked, sliding the cock through her hand again and sending pleasure sparking out from the base. Ruth moaned. “Okay, fine, this is really fucking hot, is what this is…”

Ruth indulged, and no matter what she tried with the candy cane cock, it felt amazing. Pre-orgasmic ripples of pleasure sent more icing dripping from her tip, which she licked off her fingers.

Slowly, Ruth’s arousal built, and she could feel the familiar-yet-different edge, right there.

She’d better cum and get to bed… why exactly? She didn’t have work the next day. In fact, she had all night and nobody to bother her.

Ruth bit her lip, squirming with pleasure, forcing her hands to stay off the candy cane cock as icing dribbled down its length and she backed down from the edge. 

Then she resumed her luxuriant attentions, stroking and moaning, working up quite the sweat.

“Not so cold and lonely anymore,” she muttered to the knit Obbie as she teetered on the edge a second time.

This time as her hand found the shaft, every movement tingled with orgasmic pleasure. “Oh fuck… Obbie, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to stop this time…” Her hips bucked reflexively into her hands as she fucked the air, ribbons of icing already oozing out. Her breath quickened. “I can’t fucking stop… oh fuck… fuck!” Ruth’s thrusting hips lit some kind of new fire in her core as every muscle in her body clenched. A pulse of pleasure radiated from her base and then the candy cane cock erupted, huge arcs of warm icing hanging in the air and then spattering down around her.

“Ohhhh fuck…” Relaxation spread through Ruth’s limbs as she stopped bucking but still stroked gently. As she caught her breath, she expected sensitivity to overtake her, but it was actually the heat of greater pleasure that she found.

“Oh Obbie, I’m gonna… again… yes… fuck…. Oh!” Another climax thundered through her, even more intense than the first. And just when she thought she was spent, it happened again, a third wave of rhythmic ecstasy, showering her with yet more peppermint icing.

Finally, Ruth collapsed back into the bed, both hands at her sides but still cumming, little pulses of icing still oozing out of the candy cane cock.

Ruth scooped a handful of peppermint icing from her stomach and pressed her fingers deep into her mouth. It was the best thing she’d ever tasted.

As she shifted to scoop up more, the candy cane cock fell next to her on the bed, as if it had never been attached to her at all. She picked it up and licked the icing off the end—and found that it was, indeed, made of candy cane. Ruth wasn’t quite sure of why, but she giggled at that.

She licked up a few more handfuls of icing, then settled back into her bed. Whether it was a dream or drugs or actual magic that would result in her having to do a lot of laundry tomorrow, Ruth didn’t care much.

She sighed happily. “Happy fucking Christmas to me.”

Then, she added, “And happy solstice to you, Obsidian…”

And as her eyes drifted shut, too heavy to keep open any longer, she would have sworn the knit cat’s eyes glowed golden for an instant as the sound of purring brushed by her feet.


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Shorts

Christmas Moonshine (Part I)

The bells on the door jingled merrily as Ruth pushed in from the cold. She had taken the long way home, as much to enjoy all the Christmas lights as to put off her inevitable arrival at her cold and empty home. This shop had caught her eye, with the window display of antique nutcrackers and Christmas-themed nesting dolls. Somehow, she hadn’t noticed it before.

She was greeted with a wave of warmth, the smell of cinnamon and juniper, and floor-to-ceiling shelves of seasonal antiques. Christmas carols crackled from a vintage record player next to the door.

“Welcome, deary!” called an old woman’s voice from the back. “Do let me know if you have any questions.”

“Will do,” Ruth called back, but as she stepped around the shelf to properly greet the woman, she found another equally tall shelf behind it. The delightful array of miniature rocking horses, little birds, and glistening glass ornaments quickly distracted her from her concerns of politeness.

Ruth browsed, finally feeling some warmth in her bones again. She lost track of how many shelves there were in the little shop, each packed with innumerable wonders. 

A cuckoo clock chimed at the end of the aisle, and Ruth’s heart rose with the merry little tune and dancing children, then sunk as she saw the time. She really did need to get going. 

As she stepped to go back up the aisle, she saw something she’d missed before on a shelf she’d passed. A cheerful little plush black cat, no doubt hand-knit, wearing a big red Christmas bow.

Glee bubbled in her heart. She’d hardly decorated at all, and here was something that would bring some Christmas cheer to her dreary apartment all without any tree or effort.

Ruth picked up the little cat and stepped towards the cuckoo clock, not sure if she remembered which way the woman’s voice had come from. She nearly jumped as she came around the end of the aisle and found the shop’s counter right there.

A plump old woman with white hair wearing a red velvet dress sat knitting behind the counter, upon which a black cat slumbered. 

“Hello deary,” the woman said, looking up from her knitting. “Find what you were looking for?”

“Y-yes,” Ruth said. “My apartment’s a bit empty this year, a-and—” She realized as soon as it was out of her mouth that there was no way to make it not sound pathetic. “Well, this fellow seemed like some quick Christmas cheer.” She held up the knit cat and hoped she looked cheerful.

The old woman’s eyes twinkled. “Ah, yes. Quite unlike the inspiration, I’ll have you know.” She tilted her head towards the black cat on the counter, who peeled open one yellow eye, surveyed Ruth, then returned to sleeping.

“You made it?” Ruth said.

The old woman nodded. “Most things in here I did. I have this shop as much as a place to put everything as to sell it!”

Ruth then noticed that there was a little doorway behind the counter, and sure enough, it was covered with all kinds of tools—paints, wood shavings, other balls of yarn, and more.

“Well, everything’s so lovely! I’m surprised you can keep the shelves stocked.”

The old woman smiled and shrugged. “This place doesn’t get as much foot traffic as it used to.”

Ruth thought that was odd, since she’d thought this part of town was doing quite well, but as she was far from an expert on local economics, she just offered an apologetic look. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh! Don’t you worry about me. I like it that way, honest. Just me and Obbie here.” She inclined her head at the cat.

“Obbie, that’s a fun name.”

“Short for Obsidian, but as you can see, that’s far too noble a name for this goofy little grump.”

Ruth found a real smile tugging at her lips. “Well, Obbie is a dashing model, if nothing else.”

“That he is,” the woman said.

“Do you have any Christmas plans?” Ruth asked, before realizing that she might have to return the answer.

“Ah yes,” the old woman said, “and they’ll look quite a lot like this. I’m a bit of a, oh what do they call it…”

Witch’ stirred in Ruth’s mind, but she had no idea why she’d think such a rude thing about such a nice woman.

“A spinster,” the woman finished. “That’s the word.”

“Do you ever get lonely?” Ruth asked.

“Me? Nah, Obbie keeps me good company. And now he’ll be able to keep you company, too.” The woman tipped her head at the knit cat.

Ruth turned to look at the cheerful face and big red bow. She could already imagine feeling a little less lonely with the little knit cat perched on her dresser. A genuine smile found her. Ruth nodded to the woman. “Yes, I quite agree.”

The old woman smiled warmly. “Anything else I can help you find tonight?”

Ruth shook her head.

The old woman nodded, then wrapped up the cat in a paper bag. Her eyes twinkled. “One more thing.” She ducked into the next room and returned with a little glass bottle. “One of my other hobbies. Call it a freebie.” She shook the bottle, then dropped it into the bag with the knit cat. 

“What is it?” Ruth asked.

The old woman winked. “Moonshine. You’ll have to tell me if it’s any good. I used to be quite the cook, back in the day.”

Ruth would have immediately believed that the old woman had experienced prohibition first-hand. While she tried to do the mental math of whether that was even possible, the woman finished arranging the bag.

Obsidian stood and stretched, sniffed at the bag, then jumped off the counter and wandered off into the shop.

The old woman shook her head. “See? What a grump.” She handed Ruth the bag. 

Ruth blinked and reached for her purse. “Oh, what do I owe you?” In her enthusiasm, she’d forgotten entirely to check the price tag—something both her boyfriend— her ex and her mother would have loved to berate her for. And one of the reasons that she was not presently traveling to visit either of them.

“Hm? Oh, you already paid, deary,” the woman said.

“D-did I?” Ruth said.

The woman nodded warmly and chuckled. “It’s late, happens to the best of us. Be sure to bundle up all the way before you head out.”

Ruth nodded as she pulled on her gloves. “Merry Christmas!”

“And to you too, deary. Just be sure to wish Obbie a happy solstice on the way out, if you don’t want the old grump to hiss at you.”

Ruth nodded and turned towards the labyrinthine shelves, not sure how she was going to find her way out. But while it had taken her more than a half an hour of browsing—and she would have sworn dozens of shelves to get to the counter, she only walked by four on the way out.

And she nearly jumped as she spotted Obbie sitting on top of the record player by the door, staring directly at her with two gleaming golden eyes.

Ruth gulped. “Happy Solstice, Obsidian.”

The cat jumped off the record player, purred, rubbed against Ruth’s leg, and then disappeared into the shelves again.

Ruth stepped out into the cold before the cat could change his mind and come back to hiss at her, then headed home.


Continued in Part II

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Shorts

Christmas Dinner (Part I)

A fire crackled merrily, illuminating the dining room of the old Victorian mansion. Evergreens and red baubles trimmed the fireplace, gold velvet banners softened the walls, and the chandeliers twinkled with dozens of candles. Outside the frosted windows, fresh snowflakes swirled.

The smell of roasted turkey and caramelized sweet potatoes drifted around the twelve diners at the long oak table as they chatted, jabbed, and laughed. They were dressed to the nines in two-piece suits and seasonal pocket squares—even (especially) the two women. The attire was a touch more modern than the mansion itself, but still a hearkening to Christmases past. One should expect nothing less from the vintage-obsessed Main Street Cigar Club. They usually went all out for Christmas, but this year they hadn’t had to lift a finger—just their wallets. When a ‘Magical, Victorian Christmas Experience’ had popped up in the local charity auction, the vote to put the club’s funds toward it had been unanimous. 

The event company that owned the mansion had nearly all five-star reviews, though details were sparse. Common themes were ‘indescribable’, ‘beyond what I could have imagined’ and ‘downright magical’. The first three courses had not disappointed, nor had their hosts for the evening.

There was a tall, slender man in a prim tailcoat of ruby velvet, standing quietly by the door, watching the merriment with cool grey eyes, always available but never overbearing. He need only incline his head at the other host, a short, plump woman in an emerald silk dress, and she understood what was needed next and would cheerily bounce to it, her ringlet curls flouncing on either side of sparkling brown eyes, her ample cleavage nearly escaping the cling of the silk. They had introduced themselves as Elden and Rosie as they had first welcomed the guests into the warm air of the mansion.

One of the quieter guests did privately think to himself that it was a bit quaint—yet charming, in the end—that despite the overall elegant and high-end feeling of the event, the two hosts had chosen to wear (impressively natural) pointed ear prosthetics to fashion themselves as elves.

The true reason for the hosts’ appearance was, unbeknownst to any of their guests, that they were in fact elves. The promises of ‘magic’ were quite literal. Though, perhaps ironically, Christmastime was the only season where they disposed of the glamours and disguises for their ears and wore them as they naturally were.

The six-course meal, three courses of which had now been plated and served, that seemed as though it would have required a kitchen staff of half a dozen to pull off, was in fact accomplished by Elden’s innate magics. Rosie was his apprentice, not yet qualified to use her magic with guests, so she went about any mundane tasks that remained.

One that she attended with the utmost faith was quietly topping off each guest’s glass of wine. When the woman nearest to the fireplace thought to herself that Rosie must be moving with supernatural subtlety, she was correct. No glass dropped more than half full, even as empty bottles lined up against the kitchen wall.

Rosie poured out the last of her carafe into the glass of the man whose pocket square was folded into the shape of a tree, and then glided into the quiet of the kitchen to uncork another bottle. She hummed a carol to herself as she lifted a little red crystal vial and poured in a generous splash to this latest bottle.

As she placed the vial back in its spot, the faded label twisted into the beam of a candle’s light, and made clear the outline of a heart and the letters V and D.

Rosie froze, her cheeks flushing bright red as her trembling fingertips pressed to her lips. She left the bottle of wine, snapped up the vial in a tight fist, smoothed out the front of her dress with a shaking hand, and stepped back into the room, pausing at Elden’s side, where she was barely taller than his elbow. Even without stooping, he heard her quiet whisper with perfect clarity:

“Elden, might I speak with you in the hall a moment?”

One of his pointed ears swiveled down towards her, but his eyes remained focused on the guests. Though it would appear that he was doing little, he was actually deeply focused on watching every guest’s littlest reaction, sifting through every whisper, all for clues on what foods might best delight in the next course.

“Is it important?” Elden said, his voice as cool and smooth as the ice skating pond behind the mansion.

“Would I interrupt you for anything else?” Rosie hissed through her cheery smile.

Elden took a slow breath—more to clear his head than to signal his exasperation, Rosie had recently learned—and then followed Rosie into the hallway.

Once they were in the dim quiet, he kneeled in front of her, lest he worsen her anxiety by towering over her. This was one reason that Rosie had fought so hard to become Elden’s apprentice—despite his aloof and sometimes bizarre nature, he was really quite kind.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

Rosie took a deep breath. “I-I’ve made a mistake, I…” The words caught in a tangle in her throat. What if Elden fired her for this? What if this would be the last time she got to entertain humans, when she’d made such a terrible mistake? The honor of entertaining humans was sacred to fae, and nothing had made her more honored than this opportunity, and—

Elden’s hand on her shoulder dispelled Rosie’s clouded thoughts.

“Whatever it is,” he said, “we can figure it out together.”

Rosie nodded, but all she could manage past the brink of tears was to extend the near-empty red crystal vial towards Elden.

Elden took it up in his slender fingers and turned it towards the light, then quirked an eyebrow at Rosie as the corner of his mouth twitched.

But not towards a frown, as Rosie had feared—but towards a smile!

“Let me make sure I understand,” Elden said. “Instead of infusing the guests’ wine with a Potion of Merriment, which has the effects of increasing the appetite and the sensation of flavor to divine heights, you’ve instead been dosing the guests tonight with our Valentine’s Day concoction which is…” Elden looked at her expectantly.

“An extremely potent aphrodisiac,” Rosie squeaked.

“And just so that I fully understand,” Elden continued, “While we would normally put just a single drop of the Valentine’s Day concoction into an entire bottle of wine, you’ve been dosing this as if it were a Potion of Merriment, so something like ten times the dose?”

Rosie winced and nodded.

“How did this happen?” 

“I f-forgot that Christmas wasn’t the only red bottle.” Rosie squeezed her eyes shut, bracing for punishment.

But instead, Elden laughed. And not just a wry chuckle, which was the most she’d ever seen from him. He laughed from his core, deep and full, and the sound filled the air with the memory of a hundred dozen Christmases, centuries of mirth and mischief, warmth and whimsy, and every candle in the house burned a shade brighter.

Somehow, Rosie’s shame melted away, and she found herself laughing too. When Elden finally settled, his blue eyes still twinkling like a starry sky, Rosie said, “So you’re… not going to fire me?”

“Oh, heavens no. Dear Rosie, we have guests to attend to, and I will need your help.” Elden grinned wide enough to reveal his pointed canines and the predatory gleam in his eye. “I have an idea that will ensure our guests have a delightful night, that will be appropriate penance for you for this little slip-up, and that will keep the Convention from levying anything more than a nominal fine. Does that sound agreeable?”

Rosie’s heart pittered like the hooves of a reindeer yoked to a sleigh, ready to run, eager to work, waiting only for her master’s ha. Her cheeks warmed again, but for a different reason. She bit her lip and nodded.

Elden handed her the red crystal vial. “Good thing you didn’t use it all,” he said. “You’ll want to drink that.”

Excitement tingled all the way down to Rosie’s fingertips and toes, and she obeyed.


Continued in Part II

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